The New Konoha Kunoichi
by WeirdAnimeChick
Summary: An unexpected new Kunoichi comes to Konoha only to cause an event like no other. Why does it seem like everyone in Konoha is going insane? And why are the sand sibblings there? Crackfic. OC. No pairing. On Hold for now. To be revised after completion.
1. New Arrival

_**Disclaimer!:**_ I do NOT own Naruto…but OH GOD! If I did! WOW! there would be A LOT of Ninja Cows!  
_**Caution!:**_ beware! Lots of characters are highly OOC!!! Do be ready to be thrown from you seats going 'WTF???' But i use them anyway some times

_**Talking!:  
**_'my lemonade is better than yours!'talking

'**my lemonade is better than yours!'** Cow talking

'_my lemonade is better than yours!' _Thinking

'**my lemonade is better than yours!' **Physic cow telepathy

'Title(s)

_**Enter the Ninja Cow!**_

It was a normal bright, clear, and sunny day in Konaha, the village hidden in the leaves, when all of a sudden…

'God Damn it Naruto!' Sasuke screeched jumping through Konaha after Naruto, who happens to be having a laughing fit so it seems like he's drunk. 'Get back here!!!'

Naruto had snuck over to Sasuke's house while he was sleeping and drew all over his face with a permanent black marker.

Everybody is starring and thinking _'Oh Gawd! They're INSANE!'_

They were right…Sasuke and Naruto were insane. Well, Sasuke was insane, hyper to be exact. You see Kakashi had wanted to know what would happen to Sasuke when he got hyper, so he caught Sasuke as he was coming into training and dumped like 50 pixie stix down his throught.

Naruto stopped abruptly, Sasuke crashing into him after like 2 seconds, 'wh…what!?'

They were now just inside the gates of Konaha, and there was a new arrival.

'_wow! she's cute!' _thought Sasuke looking up at beautiful foreign girl just arriving at Konaha.

She walks over to wear Naruto still lay sprawled on the ground. '…Negh…!' Naruto grunts doing a pushup off the ground. He leaps up spins around in mid-air and shouts 'DOBE! Why'd you do that?'

Sasuke (now standing) just stares past him at the, woman with long, dark, purple hair. Naruto seems to notice this and spin around only to see someone standing behind him with orange eyes, and long purple hair that goes down to her waist.

She cocks her head to the side as if to say _Nanda? _Naruto…looking flustered, (and blushing) stands up straight, bows and says 'Gomenasi!'

'Hahahahahaha!' she breaks out in an uncontrollable laughing fit, directed at the two idiots covered in dirt (and marker) standing in front of her.

'I LIKE CHOCOLATE MILK!' Sasuke screems at her, unable to control the urge.

She just stands there and blinks. 'i…im…so…SORRY!' she says between little giggle fits. Than she takes a deep breath. Wich some how stops the giggles.

'I have one thing to say to you and one thing to ask you, first of all, You! Black hair, emo kid!' Sasuke looks started at this and blushes under the marker. 'you have black permanent marker all over your face!'

'LETS ALL TALK ABOUT THE MELECULAR STRUCKTURE OF SPARK PLUGS! WE SHOULD DO A TEST TO SEE IF A PIE CAN FIT IN ONE!' Sasuke screems at the top of his voice, now extremely embaressed, he disappeared out of sight. He had forgotten all about the marker on his face. Than he booked it back to his house to wash off the marker.

**_With Sasuke_**

'_I must of sounded so stupid to her! Ugh!' _thinks Sasuke as he washes off the marker.

**_Back With Naruto_**

'…Okay than…are you normal?' she asks Naruto.

'more normal than him anyway' motioning the direction Sasuke went with his head.

'true that, true that.' She answers nodding her head.

'…'

'…'

'so what wee you wondering?' Naruto asks her breaking the awkward silence.

'OH!' she says just remembering. 'I wanted to know if you two were a comedy duo!'

Naruto sweat drops, and sighs. 'No…but speaking of which, do you want me to show you around Konaha?'

'what does that have to do with comedy duo's?'

'Nothing. Why? Should it?'

'No…'

'Anyway! I'm Naruto Uzumaki! And I'm gunna be the Hokage some day!'

'where did this come from?'

'that was my introduction, I'm Naruto Uzumaki, I'm a leaf village Ninja.'

'oh…I'm not'

'that's great…' Naruto states trying not to sound to confused.

'anyway, I'm…' she was cut off by a huge bang coming from across the street.

It was Gaara, one of the shop owners had just told him he couldn't bring the giant sand gourd into his shop. Gaara was about to use his sand coffin jutsu, when the purple haired, orange eyed woman leaped from behind Naruto did a few flips and landed over to where Gaara and the shop keeper stood. She elbowed Gaara in the stomach at lighting speed, exclaimed 'SORRY FOR THIS!' to the shop keeper and kicked him in the stomach than ran around Naruto (she has Gaara under one arm), grabbing his wrist and saying 'come on!' than they booked it out of there like no tomorrow.

**_End:_** OOOOOOOOOOh! thats right! a clif hanger...hope you enjoy it! please send reviews this is my first story so sorry if it sucks donkeys for quarters DONT BE MEAN ABOUT IT!!!...but just so you know...I HOLD THE FLOWER OF THE UCHIWA PLANT!...you've been warned!!! haha..im a little hyper.

im haveing a thingy that you vote on kinda thing OK? so review with your answers...

should the new girls best friend be...  
1.Sakura

2.Tenten  
3.Temari  
4.Naruto  
5.Sasuke

6.Hinata

7.Gaara

or last but not least...

8.SHES A LONER!

now for the other one...would you like her to  
A) have a boyfriend (tell me who it should be)

B)no boyfirend

C)she has a secret crush! (tell me who people tell me who...)


	2. My name is Ishikawa

_**DISCALIMER:**_ I don't own Naruto or anything anyone else has created that I use…like pixy stix or the purple people eater song, or ANYHTING except…

_**I FEEL LIKE TYPING THIS:**_ Izanami Ishikawa! She's all mine!!! I made her up…and her moves…kinda…

same talking things again…well except when you just know its me, than its not whispering…yeah…

sorry about the last title it wasn't exactly accurate…

**THE HERE ARE THE RESULTS!VOTES ARE IN AND…**

**Sakura:**

**Tenten:** 1

**Temari:** 1****

Naruto:  


**Sasuke:**

Hinata: 1****

Gaara: 1****

Loner:

**AND!**

**Boyfriend:**

**No Boyfriend:** 1

by the way only one person voted…yea for all of those, that's why there's only one; boyfriend, no boyfriend, vote.

Now let the story begin…

_**YOUT KNOW WHAT!? SCREW THE TITLE!**_

"So, your a ninja, huh?" Naruto said, stating the obvious.

She nodded, noticing the death glare that she was receiving from Gaara, who happened to be sitting beside her. She glared right back, they had a bit of a starring contest, until Naruto jumped in-between them shouting, "SO WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK!?"

The new konouichi shook her head, dismissing her starring contest. "Sorry, what? I wasn't really listening."

"I said, maybe if you tell us your name, we can go and see if Tsunade-baa-chan will put you on our squad!" Naruto shouted, not losing any excitement.

Gaara just rolled his eyes as the out of country ninja jumped up tossing her purple hair back over her right shoulder. Flashing them a huge smile. She placed her hands on her hips and shouted "I'm Izanami Ishikawa!" in an excitement even Naruto would have a hard time matching.

Naruto starred at her with a dreamy expression on his face, he admired the purple hared konouichi. Than he started jumping around wildly, showing his excitement in almost every way possible, that included going to glomp the red hared, sand ninja, but stopped at the threatening glare, so instead he decided to go glomp Sasuke (I dunno to annoy him?), so he ran off to the raven's house. (OMG NARUTO IS STUPID! HE DOESNT EVEN KNOW WHERE IT IS…OK I'm done now).

_**With Sasuke**_

"(insert music note)-purple haird, orange eyed, awesome, konouichi. Purple haird, orange eyed, awesome, konouichi. Purple haird, orange eyed, awesome, konouichi, you seem so cool to me!-(insert music note here)" Sasuke sang as he skipped down the street. (yes Sasuke skipped, and sang, I know I know I know, THE APOCHOLYPS IS COMING! But still).

Everyone was starring at him, but than it was causing such a disturbance that Kakashi had to gather everyone (who wasn't a ninja) and tell them why Sasuke was acting so crazy, and if you can remember from the first chapter, its because Kakashi dumped about 50 pixy stix down his throat. (HAHA! TALK ABOUT AWESOME FUN!)

_**With Naruto**_

Naruto ran down the streets of Konoha, only to remember, when he stopped to catch his breath, that he had no idea where Sasuke even lived. So he decided to ask the only person that would ever speak to him, well people, the people that worked at Ichiraku's ramen shop. He also decided to get a bowl of ramen while he was there. (you know Naruto, always thinking ahead!) so he bolted out in that direction (remember, this is Naruto, he can find his way to Ichiraku's from ANYWHERE in Konoha).

_**With Gaara and Ishikawa**_

"Soooo…" Ishikawa started, not knowing what to say.

Gaara looked over to her, but it was impossible to see her face from where he sat. He shifted his weight from side to side, waiting for her to continue. Only to be surprised when she jumped up, spinning around to face him. She tripped over a medium sized rock and fell right on top of Gaara. Her face turned crimson, as she realized what happened, she shifted her weight to get off when they started to roll down the hill. (lets just pretend there's a hill in the training grounds for the sake of this story.) so she did what any normal person would have, she plastered herself to Gaara as best she could.

That's the end, for now. I was gunna make it different, but I decided on this instead. Hope you guys don't kill me with flamers. HAHAha…I'm dead serious. ANYWHO! I do except flamers, but give me a break, I'm typing with no ideas! Anywho, there's the second chapter for you. Don't worry this wont be a Gaara Ishikawa story…ill make sure of that. Stomps away…

Ishikawa: …Sure, so anywho…please review! And remember the song that Sasuke sings; is to the purple people eater song. See you next chapter! Ja Ne! now I gotta book it outta here before WAC finds me…AH HA!


	3. Easter Wishes

Hi, this is your authoress.

This isn't really important or relevant to the story in any way shape or form; I just forgot to add this to the end of the chapter. Actually, I forgot it was this time of year at all. Easter. So here's wishing that the giant chocolate bearing bunny brings you tasty confectionaries and family fun!

My next update will be next week. I'm typing it now but going away for this weekend due to my Oma (grandmother) having cancer progress to her throat. :(

Wishing you all good heath and a better life! (bows)

-WAC

P.S. This blurb has not had the wonderful abilities of my beta AnimeFreak4261 drilled into it! (Sorry, that was uncalled for.)


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